中提琴哭昏在厕所弦乐里当大提琴和小提琴在互相争锋鄙视时 中提琴在默默擦眼泪大家都嘲笑中提琴的音域和音色嘲笑就算了 弦乐界里还有好多拿中提琴当梗笑话How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? （怎么防止你的小提琴被偷窃？） Put it in a viola case. （把它放进中提琴的箱子里）What's the difference between a violin and a viola? （小提琴和中提琴之间有什么不同？）The viola burns longer. （中提琴烧得更久）The viola holds more beer. （中提琴能摆更多啤酒在上面）You can tune the violin. （你可以给小提琴调音）We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer? （我们都知道中提琴比小提琴好因为它能烧的更久。

但是为什么它能烧得更久？）It's usually still in the case. （中提琴通常都还在箱子里）What's the difference between a viola and an onion? （中提琴和洋葱之间有什么不同？）No one cries when you cut up a viola. （中提琴被切断时没人会哭）How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune? （要怎么才能知道一个中提琴手走调了？） The bow is moving. （当琴弓在动时） 【一出声就是走调..】Why don't violists play hide and seek? （为什么中提琴手们不玩捉迷藏？）Because no one will look for them. （因为没人会去找他们）How do you get a violin to sound like a viola? （怎么让一把小提琴听起来像中提琴？） Sit in the back and don't play. （坐在后面然后不要出声） Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. （随便乱拉一些走调的低音）What is the range of a Viola? （中提琴的音域范围是怎样的？）As far as you can kick it. （只要是你能踢到它的范围就好）If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? （如果你在沙漠里迷路了，你要找到什么？ 一个好的中提琴手，一个坏的中提琴手，还是一片绿洲？）The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination. （坏的中提琴手。

另外两个只存在你的幻想里）Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? （为什么音乐录音里听不到中提琴的声音？）Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated. （录音技术已经发达到可以把所有不必要的噪音都剔除了）How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune? （怎么让12个中提琴手拉对音准？） 1. Shoot 11 of them. （射杀掉11个） 2. Shoot all of them. （把他们全射杀掉） 3. Who the hell wants a dozen violists? （谁他妈会想要12个中提琴手？)想要更多中提琴笑话可去看来源：Viola Jokes (part 1) 看见没 还只是part 1..作为一个中提琴手 我们跟老师抱怨每次曲子都是伴奏 人家大提琴虽然是万年伴奏但是好歹也是有自己独立的部分 中提琴不是跟小提琴混 就是跟大提琴混 好不容易独奏 一拉 妈啊 自己都被那音色吓了一跳我们的两个老师 一个是大提琴手一个是小提琴手 看我们可怜 安慰我们说中提琴是弦乐队里最重要的了 说大提琴和小提琴就是汉堡包的上下两片面包 中提琴就是中间的肉 没有肉 就没法把两块面包连接起来了哈哈哈谁他妈信！